One thing I’ve been guilty of is asking too many pointed and personal questions, especially of people I hardly know. Oddly, people answer my intrusive questions. I’ve stopped asking these questions, though. This evolution began occurring around a year ago, when I guess you could say I mellowed out. Or lost interest in knowing absolutely everything about people.
I have not yet completely learned the lesson, however, of not revealing my entire self and history to people well before I should. I find it far too easy to put on a display of vulnerability, but it isn’t truly becoming vulnerable. As Brené Brown writes in Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, “sharing appropriately, with boundaries, means sharing with people with whom we’ve developed relationships that can bear the weight of our story. The result of this mutually respectful vulnerability is increased connection, trust, and engagement.”
And that is what I am aiming for this year. Developing or furthering relationships that allows for more connectedness and truth. Building these relationships to the point where showing vulnerability isn’t a trophy, a goal, or any kind of forethought. Showing vulnerability comes from a deep well of trust and love for another, and isn’t forced, showy, or a contest.